A bloke goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five pints. The barman gives him an odd look since the bloke's all by himself, but he serves up the five pints and lines them up on the bar.

 

The bloke downs them....One, Two, Three, Four, Five. He finishes the last one and calls to the barman, "Four pints, please, mate!"

 

The barman serves up four pints and lines them on the bar. The bloke downs them....One, Two, Three, Four. Then he belches loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three more pints. And one after the other, he knocks them back.... One, Two, Three.

 

"Two pintsh, mate!" he calls, and the barman places two pints in front of him. Down they go.... One, Two. As the bloke slams the last one down on the bar, he says, "One pint, mate."

 

So the barman fills the glass. The bloke sits there, staring at it for for a moment, trying to focus. Then he looks at the barman and says:

 

"Y'know, it'sh a funny t'ing, but the less I drink, the drunker I get..."